Avoid Relationships with Untrustworthy Men

There is nothing quite like knowing you have escaped a broken heart when you make conscious efforts to avoid relationships with untrustworthy men. In fact, when it comes to love, one of our biggest fears is a betrayal of trust by someone we love.

Over a lifetime of dating, most of us will experience betrayal of trust and a broken heart while in dating and marriage relationships.

It has probably happened to you too.

Nevertheless, it is often a lesson etched in our brains forever. Some never fully trust anyone again, at least not as they did before. The thought of going through the same pain again is unbearable.

As a matter of fact, it doesn’t matter whether it was broken promises, lies, an affair or a divorce. The people we love can betray us in a thousand different ways.

And while some betrayals are like paper cuts that sting badly at the time but heal. Other betrayals cut us deep and even in half.

Are you wondering how can you keep yourself from being taken advantage of, deceived, or walked all over in your love relationships?

How can you play it safe when you give your heart away?

Try these 3 tips ideas with the new man you meet.

Tip #1. Be slow to trust right away.

Falling in love can consume you and sweep you off your feet. When you’re in love, you’re in a different and even distorted reality. Everything is wonderful; everything is right with the world. When looking through the lens of love, those rose-tinted glasses transform him from just another regular guy. It changes your beloved into a knight and a hero among men.

But new love is a form of intoxication and can literally distort your reality. It sets off chemicals in your brain. A mix like oxytocin, norepinephrine, dopamine, and PEA cloud your senses and judgment. You can’t see your new lover clearly until after the honeymoon phase wears off. You will only see the best in him because you are literally blinded by love.

Historically, the intensity of that new love bond keeps lovers together long enough to raise a child to toddlerhood. Thanks to nature we are programmed like this for a reason in order to ensure our species continues.

However, these days we’re not as concerned with continuing our bloodlines as we are in finding a compatible mate. Our reality stays distorted just enough to allow us to grow the confidence and belief that our love interest is really is all that.

That said just know there’s a simple remedy for the distortion:

First, allow for the inevitable distortion.

Second, know that your vision of him is that of his best. You’re in love; that’s just how it works!

Third, take your time, Don’t completely trust him right away. No matter how excited and passionate you feel take it slow.

Allow time for your vision to clear and your feet to come back down to earth from cloud 9 before trusting him with the big things.

Think about your house, car, children, and cash. Don’t do it no matter how tempting. I know you are thinking but he’s different.

Fourth, as you begin to see his flaws and shortcomings you will begin to see him in a more balanced and realistic way. He’s not perfect. You won’t think alike on everything. You’re going to disagree sometimes which is good.

But be warned, the end of the relationships honeymoon phase can be like dumping a bucket of cold water on your head, but that jolt also wakes you up – it’s shocking but necessary. You each have to see the truth about each other, eventually.

In the harsh light of day, you’ll find that you can trust him on some things and not others. You can trust him to be faithful and care about you, but maybe not to balance his checkbook or pick up the right groceries. And that’s fair enough. Trust should be realistic.

Tip #2. Never trust a man more than he respects you.

Even so, men will challenge you:

“Don’t you love me? Why don’t you trust me? You must not love me if you’re not going to trust me on this.”

They make a convincing argument. Of course, you love him. You SHOULD trust, you think since you are in love. But something isn’t quite right. Something is off and your gut is pitching a fit. No wonder something feels off.

That’s manipulation and know that these are relationship red flags and warning signs. He’s using your feeling to make you second guess yourself and give him a free pass.

But love and trust are two completely different things. Just ask a parent. You can love your children to the end of the earth, but you don’t trust them with matches or knives.

Trust takes time to build and occurs because of a proven track record. And trust in any given situation needs to be matched to past situations. Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.

A man who respects understands this. He won’t pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do. He understands that trust takes time. This may seem like new relationships advice for her.

In general, the less he respects you, the less trust he deserves. The more he respects you, the more you can trust him.

Tip #3. Trust brings risks.

No matter how cautious you are, love is a risk. But finding love is truly rewarding. No matter how careful you are, there’s always the chance of things going horribly wrong.

When you open your heart to love, you open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. You can’t know what the outcome will be.

And that’s not a bad thing.

The saying goes great risk brings great rewards. Failures, wrong turns, stumbles, and errors in judgment and heartbreak litter the road to victory in love. You can’t escape being hurt if you’re going to open yourself up to love.

What you need to know is this:

No matter what happens, you are stronger than you think and can handle it.

Give yourself permission to get hurt. Take a chance on love and accept the risks. Trust yourself to be strong enough.

Because the trust you place in your own strength has a way of revealing your hidden reserves, your resilience, and the future of new relationships of love that awaits you.

Oh, and one more thing. The best way to avoid getting burned is to have knowledge that allows you to predict the future.

Knowledge is powerful precisely because it lets you predict things other people miss.

As a relationship coach, I spend a lot of time trying to predict what will happen next in relationships. Sometimes I’m right, sometimes I’m wrong. But there’s one secret I’ve discovered that gives me an unfair advantage.

It’s an advantage you can use too. It allows you to understand why men act and respond the way they do in love relationships. With this knowledge, you gain more than insight into the future.

You’ll actually learn how to pull at a man’s emotional heart-strings in a way he simply can’t resist.

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, meaning at no additional cost to you, I get a commission if you decide to make a purchase through my links.

I’d like to share this secret with you. If you’d like to learn more, go here to watch a video that explains how it works and what you can do to make this secret your own.

Talk Soon,
Tse

P.S. – If you haven’t watched James’ presentation on What Men Secretly Want, you can do that now below.