How to Stop Seeking Male Validation in your Relationship

Learning how to stop seeking male validation from your man can be a challenge. Often this occurs because you have a fear of being rejected or disliked. Everyone desires to feel safe and secure in their love life and relationships.

“Queen of social chameleons, I mastered the art of telling people what they wanted to hear and being someone they would find impressive—all the while worrying incessantly about what others thought of me, fearing criticism, and holding myself back as a result.” – Sacha Crouch

If you find that you are seeking too much external acceptance, it may be because you have not developed a healthy sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. Feeling approved makes us feel that we are valued as a person. It is important to note that high-quality men love confident women.

Where causes the need to seek approval?

Where did his need to seek approval of others start? According to Psychology Today, most of us can trace this behavior back to our childhood. In adolescence, you need your parents’ approval, without which you cannot thrive. This leads to our needing external approval as an adult.

Signs of approval-seeking behavior in your Love Life

• Fear of telling him about a decision you have made.
• Taking actions based on getting his approval. Some would call that a pick-me.
• Struggling with being direct and communicating effectively.
• Omitting the truth out of fear he will disapprove.
• Letting his or others’ opinions decide on what actions you take.

If any of these statements are true, you are struggling with people-pleasing and approval-seeking.  This is true of most of us. To a certain degree, you all care about what people think of us. The thing that keeps us from being in touch with our own truth is fear. Fear of others’ disapproval.

What would it be like if the people closest to our lives did not approve of our decisions? If it’s about a decision that you are not totally sure about, a person close to us can change your decision even though you may still feel like your first thoughts you’re right. If done often enough, it could lead to major problems with insecurity.

How to stop seeking male approval

According to Psychology Today, “When others’ acceptance of you impacts how you make decisions about where to spend your time, you lose awareness of what’s important to you, what drives you, and what makes you happy.”

Approval seeking can lead you to avoid the man whose approval you’re seeking in the first place. Seeking validation in relationships can lead to tremendous insecurity in your love life and constant checking in with the man you are dating.  Besides, it’s as if you are feeling that you are moving in the right direction, but because he may disapprove, you ignore your true feelings and desires. Which can create stress and avoidance in your love life.

When you learn how to stop seeking male validation you will discover that men find needy women very unattractive.  Too much blame for your insecurity is placed on him when actually you are acting out of a lack of self-confidence in your dating relationship with him.

Learning how to stop seeking male validation

According to healthysenseofself.com, there are ways to manage your need for approval from others and from the men in your dating life.

1. Take criticism as feedback, not disapproval. Criticism is not always harmful. Take it as being constructive. Moreover, this will help put the criticism in a healthy context rather than a hurtful one.
2. Be truthful to yourself when deciding what you feel is a success. If you develop your emotional self-awareness, you can more readily identify what your desires are. This will define whether our goals and desires are aligned with each other.
3. Next, learn to say no. Saying no may sometimes feel like you are passing up an opportunity, but it often will open up another opportunity. Saying no in dating relationships and our love life can be especially hard.  In addition, saying no makes us feel good about standing by our true position. Also, it allows you to focus your energy on what you have decided on as being your priority and/or the man you want to date. 
4. Learning to say no to the wrong type of man is a skill and grows with self-confidence that you can meet other men.  Social media puts a lot of pressure on women to look good, and have a fabulous man and the perfect life.  This explains some of the posts you see looking for the most likes or shares which feeds the need to seek approval from others. Having worked toward a sense of self and self-confidence will open you to possibly feeling loved and living your love life as your own person and confident woman. You will have learned that you have independence. You will realize that there is a version of yourself that exists regardless of other people’s opinions. Further, you can learn to love yourself even more.

Making the Break Away from seeking approval

Having worked toward a sense of self and self-confidence will open you to possibly feeling loved and living your love life as your own person and confident woman. You will have learned that you have independence. You will realize that there is a version of yourself that exists regardless of other people’s opinions. And you can learn to love yourself even more.

The more you learn to lean on your own self-awareness, the less you need the man you are dating’s approval and you grow away from seeking validation in relationships. This makes you more self-confident. As you develop a better identity of yourself what your man or others think becomes less important. Lastly, a decrease in seeking male validation and sabotaging your personal love life.